Ever seen Apache Tomcat alive?

The world is a pretty funny place to live in and day by day it becomes even more funnier. Who could have ever imagined that a day we would get to see Tomcat come alive.

Well its quite an irony to say that our good ol’ server came to life. For the non concerned it was here and very much alive indeed ! Now, don’t fret at what am I saying. Its’ all over the papers about the marriage of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and the newly formed acronym “TomKat” 😀

Amazing I would say, I have been enlightened somewhat by TomKat as I am seeing it alive in its humane form and as I work on it daily I see the holy interaction by which I get connected to Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes.

I was imagining the future of TomKat, the child they have brought together in this little world. Of course they have named the child but what if another child sees its day tomorrow. It could be a boy, it could be a girl.

If the child would be a boy I would suggest a name…. “Apache“, which seems very macho to me. So in short, it would be the birth of Apache Tomkat. Only if “Mr. Tom Cruise” would have been “Mr. Tom Server”, it would have been much prettier to see Apache Tomkat Server come alive, my most loved one!!

It would have been a family that would have lived happily ever after in their home sweet home. Guess what would you would have read on the sign board of their home?
TOMKAT_HOME!!

But hey, it could have been a baby girl and so the name would have to be somewhat cheesy and cute and more likeable, let’s say umm… something like.. yess.. Catalina. (Katie and Catalina go in rythm, don’t you think so?). And when she would grow up, daddy dearest would have bought her another home sweet home… CATALINA_HOME (no guesses for that, whatsoever).

Phew! what a wonderful world this is and it gets more wonderful when you see the abstract things which you sometimes fury upon shape up in reality. That reminds me of an old joke I have heard when I was a kid.

Why didn’t Brooke Shield wasn’t willing to marry Mr. James Bond?
Because she didn’t like the feeling of being called Ms. Brooke Bond. 😀

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MMS for Dummies

what’s an MMS?
Dude! An MMS is the fastest n the cheesiest thing to achieve fame n glory across the globe.How does it spread?
Enlightened by the prior explanation you charge up and dash to your nearest dealer n get a cool gizmo called digicam and you are all set for the dreams you were chasing to come true in an instant. You call up your girlfriend and tell her you are missing her a lot and what does she think of spending a night out at your place. Your girlfriend likes the idea (She was waiting for it dude!!!). You make the stage set , candlelight dinner, fragrance spray , romantic music , a classic movie DVD , neatly combed hair n stylish clothing and wait for her. She arrives perfectly at dinner time (Man! She looks gorgeous. Poor you, you have to finish the dinner before your special moment).

Okie all said n done dinner begone. Now you start your performance (Oscar nominations were just meant for you). You tell her how much you love her n caress her. She becomes vulnerable to your moves. The next thing you want is to make a movie out of this special night. She agrees (You lucky dog). So the cam is set. Your festivity begins. You start to…… (censored).

Ok its day time. Now she has left thanking you can’t wait to show your best friend (me who else!) how passionate lover you are n how do chicks fall for that easily. So you bring over a copy of the recording and we both enjoy (Man you are a Spielberg!!). You leave the copy with me for promotion of your instincts. True friend as I am I upload it to the web so that your near n dear ones can be proud of your “soft” skills. (How sweet).

Oops…a pervert surfer gets your file and does editing on it and makes a movie by the name “Kya Kuch Kuch Ho raha hai?” and pastes in Bazee for auctioning. The next day bazee sales increase by whopping 50 % due to your movie. But watch out, the cyber crime cell notices that n catches Bazee chief n throws him in jail for allowing such passions to burn in his site. The news is all over in television, tabloids, magazines. You see yourself being discussed all over the globe (wasn’t I right in the first instance?).

Your girlfriend is so embarrassed and angry with you that she dumps you and flies away to a tiny place in Canada where no one knows her (Why worry when you are a Casanova ?). Her parents files a case against you for kidnapping their daughter (She didn’t inform her parents…too bad). The cops come n arrest you. The college authorities take quick action by debarring you from their college coz they don’t want criminals graduating from their college (You were in the final year of graduation…remember?) . Your parents are ashamed of your act and publicly declare that you are not their son and don’t know who are? ( Jesus…you just lost all your credit cards!! ).

Its over (No its only the beginning dude. Fame has still to come)The police agree with your parents and refuse to hear you out and now you are considered a refugee with a faked passport n nationality. You come in contact with a terrorist in the prison cell. He hears your woes and lends a helping hand (Dude ! he has gone through the same thing!!) . He offers you opportunity to run away from prison with him. You do and land up in Pakistan where the ISI is recruiting freshers (criminal degree is a must!). You take up the job and join forces to destroy your country for the damage they did to your digicam (shit!! your digicam was burnt to ashes). You put your brain power in making nuclear bombs and schedule a date to lauch them in your country. You come back to country and decide to plant the nuclear bomb in the capital on republic day…but hey the black cat commandos notice you (They had seen your movie!!) and capture you.

Dont worry, you have a cyanide bracelet which you open and eat and the next thing you land up at the gates of hell!! Where all the satans are watching your movie (dude the digicam which got burnt also reached hell…now you are happy!!). You are recognized as the most sensational star to do a movie with Mallika Sherawat(what!!! somebody has morphed your girlfriends’ face)……
Fame fame n more fame….do i need to tell more how to achieve more fame or is this quite bearable…..huh?

You are a famous star, a stud, a ferocious terrorist, and satans most trusted PA…what else could you ask for more than that?

But what’s an MMS??
Holy crap!! you ate you entire cream pie and now you are asking who put the algae for fermentation. Dude!! you suck (really?). An MMS just stands for More n More Scandals


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