What am I upto?

This question sometimes kinda freaks me out but nevertheless keep on asking this to myself. Right now I am in the collision of my thought process which keep drifting along with time and tide and whose forces seem to keep me pushing on the edges of the cliffs of decision making whose outcome is nothing but a series of dramatic reactions and frequent changes in the paths I seem to choose. Earlier in the month of July I was had so much attached myself in graphic designing and 3D modeling that my ambition changed its path from being a professional programmer to an animation artist of a graphic designer. But my heart always tell me that even though I like designing and animation which always top my priority lists whenever I indulge myself in learning something new at the end of the day I find solace in programming which I have been doing now in 4 years of my grads.. Eventually I begin recalling the fine days I had been programming my favorite routines in C and C++ it mesmerizes me in the arena of programming leaving behind a trace of the much liked path in animation in thin air. So now I am back to my old dwelling and putting my entire forces into learning a better language like JAVA which suites my desires coz I am much inclined to OOP and I think I will be able to regain my confidence back in this field which I seemed to lose when I began to retaliate my thoughts of heart to the thoughts from my brain. Surely the mind controls over the heart but when my heart reinforces me to a new dimension it leaves my mind boggled.
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